I Spit on New Year's Resolutions

I stopped making New Year's resolutions a few years ago because I always broke them before the first day of spring. My resolutions usually started something like, "In *insert year*, I'm going to lose 20 pounds/workout more/get into a smaller size." Yes, they always revolved around my weight or workout habits. I never made resolutions about my personal character or about the fact that I was a heinous bitch who most people tried to avoid. Yes, I admit it, I was a mean and very unhappy person.
The point is that I never tried to change the things that really mattered. I think that I finally realized this in 2006 so I promised myself that I would just stop making resolutions. I knew that I had to make some changes, but I didn't sit down and make out a list of all of my bad traits that needed to disappear. I just promised myself that I would try to be a better person, plain and simple. Over the past 3 years, I have changed. I'm a lot happier and Ienjoy life more;however, I'm still kind of bitchy at times but I don't set out to actually hurt people or make them feel bad about themselves. The most important thing that has changed about me is that I'm more aware of how my actions and attitude affect other people. I've learned how something as simple as a careless frown can cause another person to be unhappy or worried if they've done something to upset me. Unfortunately, our culture teaches us to only worry about ourselves and not worry about our neighbors. The past few years have taught me that this outlook is not only wrong but extremely sad. Relationships are a key component of our happiness and overall self-worth, so isn't it only fair to be concerned with the well-being those who are so important in shaping our lives? Well, I think so but everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion....even if they're wrong :)

I have an interesting story that only emphasizes the point that I'm trying to make but I'm running out of time here. It happened during my drive yesterday and I'm still kind of upset but I need to actually do some work so I'll write about it later.

Happiness and health to everyone in the new year.

(as a side note, I've learned that by changing who I am on the inside, my outer self has also changed. I have lost that 20 pounds and gone down a few sizes but I haven't dieted one single day. I just adopted a healthier lifestyle both mentally and physically. It's amazing how things just work themselves out)

The Best Christmas Present...EVER

Santa put these in my stocking. I love that man.


as a side note, this was my favorite movie when I was 5. i'm not even joking.

The Elves Attacked

After stuffing myself with my mother's amazing Christmas dinner, I wanted to take a moment to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas. This is the first drama-free Christmas that I've had in probably a decade. I actually got to enjoy my holiday instead of having to wonder what drama would present itself. Because I'm extremely lucky, I have plenty of white-trash on both sides of my family so the holidays usually present some sort of redneck drama. This year was pretty mellow but with the promise of all hell breaking loose within in a few short days (on both sides of course). I'm just hoping that the trash fest doesn't start until I'm safely back in Buffalo. That 12 hour buffer is really wonderful.

I am extremely happy to be back in the South, though.

Merry Christmas, y'all.




*Tara Rhee

My Smoky Mountain Home

Hopefully by this time tomorrow, I will be sitting on my Grandmother's couch and talking about how horrible my 12 hour drive was. That's right children, I'm packing up my car and grabbing Wendell and we're heading back to good ole Knoxville. I can honestly say that I miss that place. As most of you know, my opinion of Buffalo isn't that high and let's just say that living in Buffalo has showed me that Knoxville isn't as bad as I once thought. I remember thinking back to how I just couldn't wait to get out of that dingy little city and move somewhere exciting (yeah, Buffalo is just full of excitement...and hair gel). I've finished up most of my work and now I'm just waiting for that clock to hit 5pm. Tick, tock, tick, tock....

I made a Dolly Parton mix for the drive. Can you say "AWESOME"

Facebook: The Best Friend of Stalkers

Over the past few months I've been getting a lot of "friend" requests from people who I think that I might have known in my Karns days. By "know," I mean that we probably talked in the hallways twice and maybe had a class together when we were 8. Most of you are probably thinking that I should have ignored the request and gone about my boring life, but for those of you who know me well, you know how much I love, love, love finding good dirt on people. Yes, it's petty but I completely accept and admit to this flaw in my behavior and I will change it...some day. Lately I've invented a new facebook game that I like to play when I'm bored or just feeling down. It's called "Let's Count How Many Facebook Friends Have Illegitimate Children and No College Education or Job." Believe me, there are a lot of them. Yes, I know that children are a gift from God and I'm sure that these children have added joy and fulfillment to the lives of my "friends," but wouldn't it have been a little bit better to bring these kids into the world with at least a community college education, a steady job, a partner to help you, and a place of your own? It's tragic how many of these people think it's OK to still be living at home with mommy and daddy when they're 25 AND have one, two, and sometimes three babies. What is wrong with my generation? Where is our motivation?

You can call me mean, judgemental, bitchy...I don't care, but when you're calling me these names, remember that I'm employed, not pregnant, going to medical school next year, and I'm able to pay all of my bills on time without help from my parents. In other words, I have goals and I want to be emotionally and financially prepared for a time when I have to support another human being. Is that so much to ask for?

A Little Different

Over the past few months, I've actually been attending church on a regular basis. Crazy, right?In the dark days of my past, I was a sporadic church-goer at best. I'd be all excited about church and want to get "involved" with some various ministry and then someone would say something that pissed me off (usually regarding a woman's role or homeschooling) and I would gradually stop attending. YES, I know, I know...this is not the right way to think/act/feel. Going to church shouldn't be about my own personal, flawed feelings, but it should ONLY be about building my relationship with God. A HUGE part of building this relationship is by engaging with other believers and having someone there to hold me accountable when I make some ridiculous decision or say something completely awful and cold. Most of you know me and you know how I have a sharp tongue and a biting personality that can come off as being....well, mean. I need people to call me out on that because I can get a little carried away. Hard to believe, right? Anyway, the whole reason that I even started off this post with that little story is because when I went to church this morning, I heard one of the most moving and realistic stories regarding the life and cruxificion of Jesus Christ. I'm not really an emotional person because in my warped mind, the showing of emotion is a weakness (for all of you aspiring therapists, we can talk about this later). As I was listening to the sermon, I actually started to tear up and then the tears were a rollin'. That's right, I cried...in public. It was horribly wonderful. Through the course of about 23 seconds, I felt awful, wonderful, thankful, awed, and just down right amazed. It was one of those experiences that I will always treasure because I know that they are so rare. (The church actually records their sermons so you should go here and listen to today's message). Besides having pastors who can actually move me with their words, this church has given me the opportunity to meet some amazing people. Yeah, I only managed to meet these people a few short months before I'm going to move but at least I have these 6 months. God has his reasons and I just have to remember that I will never come close to understanding him. Faith is a tricky thing.

On a different note, I managed to finally finish decorating my Christmas tree and the above picture is of my most prized ornament. Ha! Thankfully this one managed to escape Wendell's rampage where he pretty much destroyed every piece of the tree that he could reach. I'm still finding pieces of ornaments that the little devil scattered throughout my apartment. If he wasn't so darn cute, I'd probably sell him to gypsies. Below is evidence of how cute he is. He was hanging out with his grandfather (yes, I'm pathetic. I admit that).

Ok, I'm done and f.y.i. iTunes has a free holiday sampler of 20 Christmas songs. I'm cheap enough to get really excited about this.

Deck the Halls With...Cookies?

I've been bitten by the Christmas Cookie Bug. Yes, that's right...Cookie Bug. I've been scouring my favorite recipe websites for cookie recipes and then running to Wegmans and buying those few crazy ingredients that I don't already have in my well-stocked kitchen (I can't believe that I didn't already have ground ginger...isn't that an essential part of every kitchen...ha!). I have recipes for 3 different thumbprint cookies, two different sugar cookies with 3 different types of icing, gingerbread men, chocolate chip, truffles, etc. It's actually starting to get a little overpowering. The funny thing is that I'm not really eating any of the cookies. Yes, I'll taste them to make sure that they don't taste like poo but otherwise I either give them away or sneak them to Mr. Wendell. Yes, I know that sugar isn't good for dogs but it's Christmas and they need sugary love too. don't judge. I'm bound and determined to get in shape and sugary cookie deliciousness isn't really part of my eating and workout regimen. Maybe when I get down to that size 2, I'll start eating cookies again. Kidding, kidding I know that the only way that I could ever be a size 2 is if I cut my body in half.
Ok, on to the actual story. Yesterday I was in the grocery store looking for cookie cutters and I found this huge rack with pretty much every kind of cookie cutter that I could ever dream of. Candy canes, santas, reindeer, holly, stockings, gingerbread houses, stars, etc. I grabbed a star because I thought that would be a good cookie to give to everyone and I wouldn't actually have to put a lot of effort into decorating it. I had my dough prepared and rolled out (f.y.i. I use a wine bottle as a rolling pin because I'm too cheap to invest in an actual rolling pin and a wine bottle works great!) when I noticed that my star looked a little funny. Upon closer inspection, I realized that it wasn't just any ordinary star but it was the Star of David. Apparently, I was making Jewish cookies. There's only one tiny problem....I'm not Jewish. Now I have to go buy another cookie cutter, and because I've used this one already, I can't return it. Do you know how much this pains me? There's $3 wasted on something that I can't really use that often. I could have used that $3 to feed my coffee additction or to buy more Sharpies (don't even get me started on my Sharpie love).
I also broke out ye olde Christmas decorations last night. My Christmas tree looks quite pathetic. The old roommates and I bought it 2 years ago at Big Lots and it kind of reminds me of Charlie Brown's Christmas tree. You know what I'm talking about. I also caught Wendell eyeing it so I'm sure that when I get home, the whole bottom half will be ripped off and Wendell will have a silver snowflake hanging from his guilty little mouth. That dog is pure evil...pure evil. I think that the best part of all of my decorations is the Yule Log. The Yule Log is a DVD that Amanda and I found at Big Lots. All that it plays is a fireplace scene with Christmas music in the background. It's a piece of tacky fabulousness that I will mourn when it finally wears out. The best thing about it is that most of the music is instrumental. I'm really starting to despise Christmas music with words because most people who sing these songs butcher them. There is nothing worse than a no-talent pop singer destroying Silent Night. It physically hurts me to listen it.

Ok I'm off to go buy some UGG boots so that I can tuck my leggings into them. I'm embracing the Buffalo tackiness. If you can't beat them, join them, right?