Alone...again

Dear Readers,

She did it again. She left me at home while she and that rat dog went down to Tennessee for Thanksgiving. Yes, I may originally be from Germany but I appreciate this American holiday mainly because it involves large amounts of food and naps...lots of naps. Last week wretched Tara made me a promise that she would not forget me and that she'd even let me sit in the front seat. Hmmm...lies, lies, lies. I'm sure she's sitting down in Knoxville eating pumpkin pie (my personal favorite) and reading the paper while I sit up here watching reruns of The Gilmore Girls and eating rice and wheat thins. Since she got that damn dog, she's forgotten about me. Who's the one who saved her from getting arrested that one time? Me. Who's the one who taught her how to knit? Me. Who was the one who held a cold compress to her head while she was sick last winter? Ok, that wasn't me because the sight of vomit makes me queesy but you get the picture. What has Wendell done for her besides crap on the floor and chew on her shoes??? Exactly.
I'm going to get her back. I might just sell all of her books on ebay...or I could let that weirdo down the street sleep in her bed. Better yet, I'll find some way to make her have to stay in Buffalo another year! Ha! I think she'd rather rip her fingernails out with tweezers than spend any extra time in B-Lo. So what can I do to sabotage her escape plan...hmm...I'll have to think on this one.
Ok off to short-sheet her bed. It's the little things that make me happy.

XOXO
The G.