I have a total girl crush

That's right, you heard me...I'm crushing on a girl. No, I'm not going to kiss a girl and like the taste of her cherry chapstick (I hate that effin' song), but I am slightly obsessed with a Ms. Heather B. Armstrong( check out her website ). I have to thank my dear, manly friend Christina Marie Marquart Akins for introducing me to her. Actually, the lovely Claire Hart showed my dear Christopher this website so I guess that I have to thank her. I haven't enjoyed reading something this much in a long time. Yes, it's helping me procrastinate and avoid reading a neuroscience journal article. It's so well-written and witty. I LOVE IT!

Right now I'm listening to sappy music and wallowing in my own self-pity. I hate being single. I want a hug, I'm a stupid girl, blah blah blah. I need some angry, man-hating girl music so if any of you have any good songs, please send them my way. Right now I'm listeing to Josh Kelley and I can't bring myself to change my iTunes playlist. He has such a deep, masculine voice. His brother is pretty amazing too. I was listening to him earlier but I had to stop. The Kelley brothers are my own personal crack.

I've been trying the whole dating thing. Yes, I know most of you are amazed by the fact that (1) I actually like boys and (2) that I actually went out on dates. I've learned a few things from my dating adventures in Buffalo and I'll give all of my readers (yeah, there are like 2 of you) a brief synopsis of my findings:

1. Buffalo/Western New York men love their hair gel. I don't think it's physically possible for them to leave the house without lathering at least 2 handfuls into their badly cut dark brown hair (I think I've seen a total of 2 blonde men since I moved here)
2. Going to a bar is an acceptable first date. No, I didn't say meeting each other in a bar. I said "going to" a bar. That's right, I was taken to a bar as a first date. Classy, oh baby. I bet loser boy was thinking that he could get me drunk and have his way with me. yeah, right. I'm not stupid or a skank.
   
3. Apparently these northern boys' mamas never taught them manners. Is it ridiculous to expect a man to hold open a door for me? I guess so. I almost got a conscussion while walking through a door because I wasn't really paying attention and just assumed that he would hold open a door for me. I was wrong and I got a door in the face. Aces!
   
4. Oh, and I must be a prude because I refuse to have sex with someone on the first date. I actually had a guy to offer me a "dinner or two" if I'd sleep with him. Can you believe that?!?!?! Apparently, I'm only worth a dinner or two. God only knows what he'd expect if I ordered an appetizer and dessert. I just love men, I really do.
5. Buffalo men love their jewelry. I don't know how many cheap gold chains or rings I've seen adorning the beer-bloated bodies of Buffalo men. My favorite is when they combine the bad jewelry with some shiny button-up shirt. It's enough to make me want to shut myself in my apartment and not come out for a few months.
6. These men don't like making eye contact. I don't know how many times I've had a guy stare at some point above my head during a conversation. It gets old. I want to grab random boy by the face and scream "Look me in the eyes when you talk to me." At least he wasn't looking at my boobs, right?
   
7. Buffalo men my age dress like teenage boys. Skater shoes and screen printed hoodie sweatshirts are not acceptable date-wear. I make an effort to look damn good when I go out on a date and I expect the guy to at least try to look like an adult. I didn't like high school boys when I was in high school so what makes you think that I'd be attracted to someone who dresses like a 15 year old skater boy?

Ok, I have more but it's making me depressed thinking about this. I'll just continue on my cat lady path until I move back down South and meet the well-dressed lawyer/doctor/businessman that I'm meant to marry and raise well-dressed, well-educated babies with.

Back to neuroscience and the lovely journal articles...I don't want to start another week.