A Year of Nothing...

As most of you know, I'm taking a year off. I finished up my Masters last May and I'm starting medical school this coming August....so that means I'm taking this year to focus on me. That sounds incredibly selfish doesn't it? What I mean is that I'm taking time to, in my own opinion, better myself. I'm getting in shape, I'm reading books that I've been compulsively buying for the past few years, I'm focusing on my faith, I'm watching all kinds of movies, etc.. Basically, I'm doing stuff that I've been telling myself that I was going to do but just never had the time (or desire) to actually do.
From 1st grade until I graduated high school, I devoured books. I was always reading something and I don't think that I went anywhere without a paperback shoved in my bag/pocket/pants. Yeah, I was the kid who took a flashlight too the movie theater because I didn't really want to see the movie that my parents were forcing me to watch (Dad and I got into a huge fight during Tombstone...not fun times). I remember one time when my dad punished me by making me watch TV. Yeah, he MADE me watch TV. I'm sure that I had said some snarky thing to him, but I actually remember him yelling, "Tara, put that book down, come out of your room, and watch this TV." It was professional wrestling. I'm still dealing with the emotional damage that watching Hulk Hogan and Randy "Macho Man" Savage caused. I'm pretty sure that if I ever turn into a serial killer, I can just point to this one point in my childhood and any jury will acquit. Back to my point...Once I got involved in my actual college coursework, reading for pleasure became something of the past. By the time I finished pouring over a 1000 page biochem textbook, the last thing that I wanted to do was read more. I'd just sit in front of the TV not really paying attention and hoping that my brain would stop hurting. Grad school wasn't much better because in addition to the awful textbooks, we had journal articles. Scientific journal articles are so interesting, let me tell you. I mean the fact that I'd have to read them 3 times just to get an idea of what they were talking about should give you a hint of their awesomeness. When people say that scientists are boring and lack a personality, all you have to do is read their published work to know that this statement is absolutely true. Science is so cool but scientists make it seem just God-awful boring. Most of them are just so awkward in any type of social situation that you're kind of glad that they spend most of their time holed up in a lab. Well I digress...
Now that I have my 9-5 job, I have time AND desire to read actual novels. Right now I'm reading 3 books. Yeah, 3. I couldn't decide on just one so I started all 3. Out of the 3, I'm really only enjoying 1 of them but I'm too stubborn to quit reading the other two. Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance is full of mid 70s philosophical psycho babble and I spend most of my time wishing that I could enter the book and strangle the narrator. I'm also reading a collection of short stories by good ole Willie Faulkner. Granted, I love his stories but there's only so much stream of consciousness that any given person can handle in one sitting. I can usually only read one story at a time before I start having flashbacks to 10th grade English class. I'm also reading Mere Christianity and I have to say that I just adore C.S. Lewis. I read this book a few years ago but I think it deserves a re-read. I usually try to throw a book on religion into the mix when I'm doing the multiple book thing and I think this one balances out the other two quite well. C.S. Lewis knew how to talk to actual people...unlike the authors of the other two books. After I finish these 3, I think that I'm going to throw a little Jane Austen into the mix. It's been awhile. She makes me wish for days when women wore corsets and men wore tight pants.

I've also been on a big TV on DVD kick. I really hate watching TV shows with commercials. Yeah, DVR spoiled me. For the past few years people have been talking about Big Love so I've started that one. All I have to say is that HBO knows how to make the shows. So good. I'm also watching The United States of Tara. Hilarious and it has my future husband in it (John Corbett makes my teeth sweat *wink* ). This show almost makes me wish that I have multiple personalities...almost.



As for the getting in shape part of my year long goal, I'm getting there. I may kill myself along the way but I'm getting there. I think that I have a broken bone in my foot because of the pounding that it takes on the treadmill, but what's a few broken bones, right? I'm not letting a bum foot stand in the way of a new pair of JCREW chinos. Yes, I am that vain.

I Just Got a Cool New Pocket Protector

Most people who talk to me for more than 10 minutes figure out that I spend most of my day with my iPod earbuds stuck in my ears listening to podcasts. Yes, I said podcasts. I used to listen to music and there for awhile I was on a huge bluegrass kick...those were good times. Anyway, mid December I started to get sick of listening to music so I broadened my scope to podcasts. I started off with the usual NPR ones but I also discovered my new BFFs at HowStuffWorks.com. My favorite podcast is Stuff You Should Know but all of the other ones are really, really good too. Sometimes I forget that I don't personally know the hosts of those podcasts and I convince myself that we're all going to go out to dinner and have spaghetti and witty conversation. Sigh, I'm a freak.
So...I was at the gym this morning and I decided to stray away from Josh and Chuck (Stuff You Should Know) and catch up on my NPR Science Friday. Ok, this is where the true nerdfest begins so you might want to get your mocking caps on. Last Friday one of the topics was a frog that produces different mating calls underwater. Yes, I said "mating calls underwater." The thing that I think is more disturbing than me listening to 30 minutes of frog love is the fact that I enjoyed every second of it and made a point to look into this research at a later time. The next topic was on HeLa cells (OMG cancer research, what?!?!?!), and now I'm getting all giddy because they're interviewing THE JANE GOODALL. I'm about to have a major nerdgasm and I'm going to relish ever second of it. It's times like this when I realize what a freak I truly am. Please forgive me, but if you love me, you'll buy me the book The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks and you'll also buy me tickets to see Jane Goodall speak.

Hello Molly, would you please pass the Aquanet?

Apparently I have 80s hair. Yes, because I curl my hair and actually put effort into my appearance, I have been labeled the girl with 80s hair.

Hmmm...coming from someone who lives in Buffalo and is still wearing Sketchers and baby-doll T-shirts, I take this as a compliment.



Next thing you know, the fact that I wear make-up will label me as a hooker.



140 days...

Oh yeah, I remember Hymns

I grew up in a very, very, very Southern Baptist church. We had the organ, the piano, and the choir...that was it. There were no guitars or drum sets. There were no light shows or drama teams. We sang from the hymnals and that was all. You'd get a funny look if you were even swaying to the music. I'm not kidding. "Conservative" doesn't even begin to explain it. When I went to college, my friend Julie exposed me to the wonders of praise music. To my surprise, you could play a guitar in church. I never knew...Music has always been a huge part of my life but I never felt any real connection to the music that I heard in church. It was always separate from the music that I actually enjoyed listening to. Stepping foot into a church where the music was fun and upbeat allowed me to open up in a way that I had never thought possible. I became a praise music junkie buying and burning (this was in the days before iTunes) as much music as possible. For the next few years, I wouldn't set foot in a church that didn't have at least 6 people in their band, and if I saw a hymnal in the pew, I wouldn't be returning the next Sunday. Yeah, I was a snob and I was completely missing the point behind each and every one of these songs that I was obsessed with. I caught myself not even paying attention to what the pastor was saying and I'd usually end up leaving the service early. I was only there for the music and I don't think I was actually hearing the meaning behind the words.
Well, I continued along this path for a few years, but then things changed. I was in a service where the band started playing an old hymn. I think it was Just As I Am or something similar to that. It was as that moment that I just felt this sense of joy wash completely over me. All of these wonderful memories from my childhood just rushed all over me and, yes, it was a warm fuzzy moment. I was at a point where God wasn't really playing a big part in my life and if I went to church, it was only out of a sense of obligation. I wasn't getting anything out of it, or better yet, I wasn't allowing myself to get anything out of it. I know this sounds corny and like a giant cliche, but I felt like my heart just opened up and joy poured in. I felt a huge sense of peace. It was the oddest thing. I'm not saying that it was a hymn that changed my whole outlook, but I think that it was at that moment that I actually started to listen to the words of songs. From this point on, I listened to the words and I began to notice that a lot of praise music is just bad. The writers' hearts were in the right place but singing 7 words 32 times isn't really what I call good musical form. I like songs that have a message. I finally came to understand that the music that one hears in church isn't supposed to replace the pastor's message but to support it and prepare us to hear what is being taught. When I visited my family over Christmas, I went to church with my grandmother, and for I think the first time in my life, I actually got something out of a Southern Baptist sermon. I enjoyed every second of the service. I loved the organ, the piano, the hymns, and the tone deaf music director. The pastor gave an excellent message and I left that church with questions (I think the best sermons leave you with unanswered questions and a deep desire to answer them). For the first time in I don't know how long, I left a Baptist church with a smile on my face. You better believe that I won't tell my dad because I just hate when he's right about something...especially something that we've had many long and heated debates about. Do you know how hard it is for me to admit that my parents might actually know what they're talking about? Yeah, I'm sure you do.

I heard How Marvelous in church this morning that that's what prompted this post. I'm done now. Live long and prosper or whatever.